Granddaughter is a Shitbird.

Dear Voodoo:

My granddaughter, "Tiffany," quit school at 16 because she didnt like her teachers, and "all the kids did drugs". She got a job as a maid, then quit. She got the job back and was fired. She went to work in a restaurant. It lasted three days -- you get the picture.

Tiffany has lived with various pregnant girlfriends on their child support until the inevitable squabble occurs and she's kicked out. She has tried cigarettes, alcohol and various drugs -- and is currently dating a prisoner who is on work release and with whom she plans to live with when he's released from jail. She's 19, He's 32. He has been in prison or jail twice, the last time for nine years. He has two illegitimate children in NYC so we assume he's unmarried.

Tiffany wants us to welcome him into the family with open arms, even though she wont tell us his name or why he went to jail. She refuses to listen to anyone. Should we give up on her and disinherit her or keep trying to persuade her out of this ridiculous relationship?

Signed,
Potential Grandshitbirds

Dear Potential Grandshitbirds:

I can't believe you haven't got two braincells between you to figure this bullshit out for yourself. Seriously, how did you manage to reach the age of grandparents without acquiring some of life's wisdom?

Your daughter is an adult. It's time to treat her like one. She wants to lie in shit, then come over to your house so you can swat the flies. You want to spend the rest of your life cleaning turd stank out of your house? There's nothing in the book of adult that says you have to accept anyone. However, there is something in the Book of Adult that says you should use some fucking sense. How fucking stupid do you have to be to realize that, if the smell of shit in your house is undesirable, then you do not allow turds through the door.

This guy has all the signs of being a turd. If he's in jail once, yeah, he probably screwed up or got railroaded by the legal system. If he's not a turd, he'll realize that he'd better get his shit together so he doesn't wind up back in the hoosegow. Not this shitbird. He's been in there twice, and one of those convictions caused him to be sent up for 9 years. Your grandidiot doesn't want to tell you what he's up for, so it's probably some shit like selling crack to toddlers or something. He's got 2 illegitimate kids, and who knows if he's supporting them. And I'm not talking about some bullshit check the MAN demands you fork over to keep babymama in heels and Starbucks. I'm talking about being a man and being a father to your kids so they don't wind up to be a couple of shitbirds like yourself.

As far as your granddaughter, I wouldn't let this turd in my house either. She's lazy, she's a mooch, she's probably an entitlement queen, and she likes fucking losers in jail. If you want a purebred shitbird, these two are a perfect match for each other. It's time you force this shitbird to lie in the bed she's been using as her toilet. Don't even think about trying to 'rehabilitate' her. She thinks you're a bunch of idiots, and refuses to listen to you. The power of shitbird is very strong within her. Too strong for you to cure. This shitbird needs the professional help only the United States Marine Corps could offer her. Maybe after having a boot shoved up her ass and a couple of blanket parties she'll see the error of her ways. Until this happens, wipe your hands of this shitbird and don't waste a second thought entertaining any of her stupid ideas.