Thursday, January 31, 2008


Inevitably, there will be some speculation as to the definition of "shitbird". This post serves to clarify what exactly is meant by the word.

The exact origins of "Shitbird" are unknown, however, the term is generally thought to have originated at some point during the illustrious history of the United States Marine Corps.

A shitbird, quite simply, is a fuckup. It's someone who doesn't pull his own weight. Think Private Pyle in "Full Metal Jacket". Unfortunately, these sort of people are the sort who never seem to suffer the punishment for their transgressions, everyone else has to suck it up for these people's sins.

In essence, a shitbird is a parasite, a foul pile of shit who screws up everyone else's groove without suffering for it.

The cure for shitbird is PAIN. The more pain the shitbird suffers, the less incentive they have to continue their current course of action. Unfortunately, there are some people out there whose shitbird characteristics are so ingrained within their soul that they are essentially incurable by mere amateurs. Only Drill Sergeants have the proper attitude, the motivation, and the 24/7 commitment it takes to cure the most shitbird of shitbirds.

If you think you might be a shitbird, you probably are one. It would behoove you to stop. If you think you know a shitbird, you probably do, and it's up to you to help cure them for society's benefit.


Anonymous said...

When I was in High School, at the end of each basketball practice we had to shoot free throws after a vigorous conditioning session. You'd get called out in front of the entire team and you'd have to make two free throws. If you missed, the team had to run a nightmare (sprint to the first free throw line, to half court, to opposing free throw line, then entire court and back) in a certain amount of time. It sucked! Well, let's just say we had a lot of SHITBIRDS on my team who failed to make their free throws. The punishment was, as you said, PAIN! The coach (drill sergeant) made the entire team suffer for the mistake of one SHITBIRD, so it was our responsibility to take it out on the SHITBIRDS when the coaches weren't around ... and we that we did. Funny this little thing men practice called Accountability. A totally foreign concept to Modern Women. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Jack, you are my hero. Keep on being strong for us former manginas. I've got your back, pal. My days of taking crap from the women are over. Appreciatively yours.

Anonymous said...

LMAO yeah the Dirt Bags who cannot handle the idea of group punishment for an Article 15 candidate. Who is a loser, whiner, and slacker. The Marines have a way of cutting through the BS. And of Course the Feminists consider them a quasi Military Religious Cult. Who the Clinton Administration FemBots wanted to do away with. Factor that shit in your brain.

One reason I despise FemBots. I have an Uncle who is a retired Marine, Air Force Pararescue jumper. WW2, Korea, two tours in Viet Nam. Then 10 years in Law Enforcement. Most stoic human I have ever known.

He must have been a Spartan in a previous life. Man has lost both legs and never complains, never.

Semper Fi