Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Bro, or the Ho, that is the question

Dear Annie Voodoo:

I am having an internal battle over loyalties. I'm a recently divorced man. My friend, "Jim" also is divorced. A few days ago, I ran into Jim's ex-wife, "Tammy" at the store. We talked for a minute and exchanged numbers. Tammy called me the next day. We hit it off extremely well.

I have always thought Tammy was a fun person to be around. We've talked several times, and I'm pretty sure she is interested in striking up a friendlier relationship. I'd really like to date Tammy, but am not sure what to do. I don't want to alienate Jim or our other mutual friends. I need your advice. What should I do?

Signed,
Needs his priorities straightened

Dear Needs His Priorities Straightened:

Tammy probably is fun to be around. And I'm sure the butcher, the gardener, the pool-boy, half the guys at the corner bar, and the mailman have all found this out as well. You don't want to alienate Jim? Do not fuck this woman.

Bros before hoes is an oft repeated maxim. There's a reason for this. You cannot replace a pal like Jim as easily as you can find someone else to fuck. 90% of the female population fucks, and most of them take credit cards. You would be wise to find someone else to go have fun around rather than this harpy. After all, there's a pretty good reason Jim got rid of her. And it's likely because there's a rabid, foaming at the mouth harpy underneath that fun-girl facade.

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