Monday, April 16, 2007

A typical American Daughter

Dear Annie , Voodoo:

My 21 year-old daughter has been dating "Charlie" for three years. My daughter attends college, works, and has many plans for her future. She is a beautiful, fun-loving, intelligent girl - until it comes to Charlie. Charlie barely graduated high school, shifts from job to job, and doesn't care about the future. They never go out with her friends, always his. He rarely comes to our house - our daughter always goes to his place. He constantly is text messaging her to find out where she is and with whom.

We've told her we can't get to know Charlie if he refuses to come around. We invited him to a family dinner for my daughter's birthday, and he promised to attend, but at the last minute, said he was "too sick" - a common excuse for him. We also invited his parents, but his mother "fell asleep and forgot."

Our daughter says Charlie is her soulmate, but we think she is being taken advantage of. Now that she is 21, our hands are tied, not that she would listen to us anyway. We have a great relationship otherwise. I would hate to see her stuck with Charlie for the rest of her life. What can we do?

Typical parents of a typical daughter

Dear typical parents of a typical daughter:

You can't do shit about this. Your daughter is a typical American woman. She will not be happy unless he's with some shitbird. Evidently, she is perfectly content to fuck bums. In this regard, she is no different than any other young American woman.

What you can do is leave her alone and let her fuck her life up. And fuck it up she will. When she's 30, has a couple brats by this shitbird, and is up to her ass in drama, you can politely tell her "Tough Shit, we told you that you were fucking up, but you didn't listen. SUCK IT UP."

Get in touch with your local animal shelter. See which ones have a good selection of cats. Your daughter's going to need one, two, or 20 when she's 35 and a burnt-out ex-shitbird fucker.

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