This blog is now active again. There's going to be a switch from an "advice only" to a mixture of advice and social commentary.
Why?
Cause I felt like it.
There's also a new policy on comments. All comments must pass moderation. Say something stupid, say something I disagree with, if you're anonymous, or if I flat out don't feel like it, I won't approve your comments for broadcast. Most of you are pretty good about this. A couple of you are shitbirds. This is a shitbird free zone.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Start writing the checks, bro
You see, Gents, big government really is there to help. Help themselves to your money. Know what you get for it? Relegated to second-class status. That's right, your income, the taxes upon which you pay until sometime in mid-May (for you US folks) are there to fund programs designed to help out someone that's "more equal" than you.
In other words: "We have to be UNFAIR to make things MORE FAIR."
Men in the west are increasingly becoming aware that government of the people, by the people, for the people is looking a lot more like government of the people, by the bureaucracy, for everyone BUT you.
To all the readers out there, post this quote from the UK on your blog. Spread the word. Don't let them relegate you to second tier status (while paying first-tier taxes) without a fight.
In other words: "We have to be UNFAIR to make things MORE FAIR."
Men in the west are increasingly becoming aware that government of the people, by the people, for the people is looking a lot more like government of the people, by the bureaucracy, for everyone BUT you.
Minister-for-men - epetition reply
7 December 2007
We received a petition asking:
"We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to restore equality for men by creating a minister for men."
Details of Petition:
"In this era of single parents, divorce and blended families, the role and reputation of a man has been diluted to a point where he is severely discriminated against in almost all arenas. I call on the Prime Minister to show true equality to men by creating a Minister for Men to reflect balance in Parliament as Ruth Kelly is currently the Minister for Women."
The Government's response
Thank you for your e-petition about the creation of a Minister for Men. Though the Government recognises that there are areas where men face disadvantage or discrimination, a glance at the income and poverty figures will show that, overall, inequality in our society affects women to a far greater extent than men. That is why the Government appointed a Cabinet Level Minister for Women in 1997 whose remit was, and is, to promote equality of opportunity in our society. The current holder of this office is Harriet Harman QC, MP and she is supported by Barbara Follett MP.
Despite the passing of the Equal Pay and Sex Discrimination legislation over 30 years ago, and other improvements since 1997, women in Britain still experience significant disadvantage in our society. For example:
* Women account for over half of the United Kingdom's population, but only make up 19% of MPs and 29% of local councillors.
* Black, Asian and Ethnic minority women account for 8% of the UK's female population but make up less than 1% of local councillors.
* Only 10.3% of the directors in the boardrooms of the top 100 FTSE companies are female;
* The gap between the pay of male and female workers is currently 12.6% for full time and a staggering 40% for part-timers.
* Women are the main victims of domestic violence in the UK and 83 of them are killed by their partners or ex-partners in 2005.
* Women still shoulder the lion's share of caring for the old and the young and 90.5% of lone parents are female.
However, the Government recognises that men do want to spend more time with their families and this is reflected in the action we have taken to improve work life balance. That is why, in 2003, we introduced the right to request flexible working for all parents with children of under six years old or with disabled children of under eighteen years old. In April this year this right was extended to include people who care for adults.
Our Government is determined to fight discrimination and ensure everybody in Britain can make the most of their talents regardless of their gender, race, sexuality, age, faith or disability and we are committed to tackling these inequalities to create our vision of a fairer society and the role of Minister for Women is crucial in delivering our aims.
The Government have established the new Equality and Human Rights Commission which will champion equality, diversity, and human rights as defining values of our society, encouraging all our institutions to operate for the benefit of every individual.
Harriet Harman will be working across Government with Ministerial colleagues to ensure that we deliver on this ambitious agenda.
To all the readers out there, post this quote from the UK on your blog. Spread the word. Don't let them relegate you to second tier status (while paying first-tier taxes) without a fight.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Nag speaks out
Dear Abby Voodoo:
Every faucet in our house has a slow drip - the kitchen sink, the bathtub, the upstairs bathroom. My husband "Earl's" response to the kitchen drip is that he wants to replace the entire sink and countertop, so "we'll do it all then." For the one in our bathtub, he says, "We're going to tear all that out anyway and put in a new tub." Earl avidly watches home improvement shows and drags me to home improvement stores to look at the replacements but never buys anything or follows through with any projects.
I am willing to approve anything that gets the drips stopped, whether it's a faucet replacement or a whole new kitchen. Earl is fully capable of doing the job himself and has all the new tools. I might add that he takes the same approach to the old truck he's going to fix up, the painting that needs to be done, the porch to be replaced and other projects. He's full of talk, but to myself I refer to him as "the big drip". How do I get him to fix the problem?
Signed,
Nagging Harpy
Dear Nagging Harpy:
Have you ever considered that you're part of the problem? I think you're pissed at Earl for something else, like the fact that he failed to provide you with the life you think you deserve to live, and that this garbage is just a bunch of displaced anger at some other shit.
Fact of the matter is, faucets are not hard to fix. Just about anyone who can drive to a hardware store can fix one. Any reasonable person would get so sick and tired of it that they'd go out and fix it themselves. Only you won't. Because the responsibility for the drip falls squarely upon him, his failure to do so means you can assume the moral high ground and claim some measure of superiority that comes from being a victim.
Way I see it, it appears that you like being the victim. Easiest way to get victim status and its accordant attention is to go provoke someone into a response so that, when he retaliates, you can go run crying to the nearest emotional tampon that will listen. I bet you nag the shit out of Earl to go do stuff. When he doesn't, you tell anyone who will listen what a big asshole he is. Earl has figured out your game and refuses to play. He's dropped out because he can't win. He fixes it, you find something else to be unhappy about and nag him until he provides the needed response. he doesn't fix it, he gets nagged at to fix it. Either way, he's fucked. In his mind he says "Fuck this, I'm doing something else.", or even better, he starts behaving passive-aggressively (because he can't give you the backhand--literally or figuratively) in order to rile you up. That how he exercises control in a situation in which he's powerless.
You're an able bodied person, you're female, you've bought into that "Women can do everything, and do it better than men" bullshit. Quit your bitching and put your money where your mouth is. Fix the fucking thing yourself.
Every faucet in our house has a slow drip - the kitchen sink, the bathtub, the upstairs bathroom. My husband "Earl's" response to the kitchen drip is that he wants to replace the entire sink and countertop, so "we'll do it all then." For the one in our bathtub, he says, "We're going to tear all that out anyway and put in a new tub." Earl avidly watches home improvement shows and drags me to home improvement stores to look at the replacements but never buys anything or follows through with any projects.
I am willing to approve anything that gets the drips stopped, whether it's a faucet replacement or a whole new kitchen. Earl is fully capable of doing the job himself and has all the new tools. I might add that he takes the same approach to the old truck he's going to fix up, the painting that needs to be done, the porch to be replaced and other projects. He's full of talk, but to myself I refer to him as "the big drip". How do I get him to fix the problem?
Signed,
Nagging Harpy
Dear Nagging Harpy:
Have you ever considered that you're part of the problem? I think you're pissed at Earl for something else, like the fact that he failed to provide you with the life you think you deserve to live, and that this garbage is just a bunch of displaced anger at some other shit.
Fact of the matter is, faucets are not hard to fix. Just about anyone who can drive to a hardware store can fix one. Any reasonable person would get so sick and tired of it that they'd go out and fix it themselves. Only you won't. Because the responsibility for the drip falls squarely upon him, his failure to do so means you can assume the moral high ground and claim some measure of superiority that comes from being a victim.
Way I see it, it appears that you like being the victim. Easiest way to get victim status and its accordant attention is to go provoke someone into a response so that, when he retaliates, you can go run crying to the nearest emotional tampon that will listen. I bet you nag the shit out of Earl to go do stuff. When he doesn't, you tell anyone who will listen what a big asshole he is. Earl has figured out your game and refuses to play. He's dropped out because he can't win. He fixes it, you find something else to be unhappy about and nag him until he provides the needed response. he doesn't fix it, he gets nagged at to fix it. Either way, he's fucked. In his mind he says "Fuck this, I'm doing something else.", or even better, he starts behaving passive-aggressively (because he can't give you the backhand--literally or figuratively) in order to rile you up. That how he exercises control in a situation in which he's powerless.
You're an able bodied person, you're female, you've bought into that "Women can do everything, and do it better than men" bullshit. Quit your bitching and put your money where your mouth is. Fix the fucking thing yourself.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Voodoo smells bullshit....
Dear Abby Voodoo:
Please help me to warn your readers about an alarming trend happening in the teenage community: prom babies. I first heard about it while driving my teenage daughter to a lacrosse meet with several of her girlfriends.
One girl in the car, "Carrie," said she hoped this year she could have a prom baby. The girls were discussing two former classmates from last year's lacrosse team who had been unable to begin college because they had both become mothers at 17.
Both had deliberately planned to get pregnant on prom night — hence the term, "prom baby." Abby, both of the girls were studious and hard-working with bright futures ahead of them. One had been accepted to several Ivy League schools. Needless to say, their parents were devastated, and many adjustments had to be made for the new babies.
My daughter later told me that several of her other friends were considering trying to get pregnant near prom time so they, too, wouldn't have to deal with the pressures of going to college.
Apparently, parents are less strict about their children's whereabouts on prom night and let their teens spend the night in a hotel or at mixed-gender sleepovers.
I thought this sad trend might be local to our area, but during a class reunion in California, I learned the trend may be nationwide. One of my oldest friends, "Dana," confided during the reunion that she had become a grandmother at 43 due to her daughter having a prom baby.
As prom night approaches, please warn parents to talk with their children about the responsibilities of premarital sex and the dangers of a prom baby.
What The Fuck.
Dear What The Fuck:
Let's deal with the obvious first. You talked to people in your neck of the woods, which turns out to be a suburb of Atlanta, and you talked to people in California. Hardly representative of the entire population. Surely, being from the deep south, you've learned that most of the population of California are lunatics. Why do you listen to their bullshit and accept it at face value? Nationwide trend, my ass. This sounds like a bunch of stupid scare tactics trying to use a few random occurences found in the terminally stupid as an indicator of a 'nationwide trend' in order to garner interest amongst people who wouldn't bother giving this column a second glance while looking for pizza coupons. How about some hard evidence before you blab this bullshit? And you're a dad? You need a boot up your ass for being a gossip, cause that's what this shit sounds like. Men do not gossip. Men do things that generate gossip. You sound like the old hens down at the beauty parlor tut-tutting about some shit one of the other hens 'heard'. Seriously. I question whether you're really a male or actually some chick ghost-writing bullshit to fill a column on a slow news day.
Why would these kids talk about this shit in front of you? You're male. You're more likely to bust the kid's ass over stupid shit than some chick would. Why would these kids reveal deep secrets around an authority figure? Either you're making this shit up, or you and your fellow citizens are breeding a generation of genuine morons. In either case, you should be quite proud, as the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree.
Look at it this way. Women are opportunists. These women are young and nubile. Why would they want to get knocked up by some zit-faced teenaged boy or some knuckle-headed jock when they can go get knocked up by some rich old fart and make out better than they would had some teenage kid done it?
Pressure of college? Pressure? The mere thought of this is laughable. You can show up stinking drunk every day of class in a modern college and still earn a 2.5 GPA. There's no pressure in undergrad, unless you're an engineer, which your moronic brats most certainly will not be.
Now that we got that stupidity out of the way, let's assume you aren't completely full of shit, and that there are hordes of women out there looking to get knocked up on prom night so they can avoid the 'pressure' of college.
The solution is quite simple. You get in your daughter's face and tell her that she can do what she wants with her uterus. She's 18, (or is she 20? 25? Hard to tell from the overflowing stupidity contained in your article, sounds like the valedictorian at your school had a driver's license in kindergarten) and therefore is an adult. An adult has the distinct ability to do what they please. And for this, they get to pay the consequences for their foolishness. Your daughter wants to whore out and have a baby at 18, that's fine. You must inform her that she will take care of the kid, not you or her mother. You will not be a babysitter. You will not bankroll this kid. You will not be there to bail her ass out when she can't handle the pressure of being a mother. You must make this abundantly clear. If she doesn't have shit for brains, she will figure out that, with no safety net, this course of action is NOT A GOOD FUCKING IDEA.
Please help me to warn your readers about an alarming trend happening in the teenage community: prom babies. I first heard about it while driving my teenage daughter to a lacrosse meet with several of her girlfriends.
One girl in the car, "Carrie," said she hoped this year she could have a prom baby. The girls were discussing two former classmates from last year's lacrosse team who had been unable to begin college because they had both become mothers at 17.
Both had deliberately planned to get pregnant on prom night — hence the term, "prom baby." Abby, both of the girls were studious and hard-working with bright futures ahead of them. One had been accepted to several Ivy League schools. Needless to say, their parents were devastated, and many adjustments had to be made for the new babies.
My daughter later told me that several of her other friends were considering trying to get pregnant near prom time so they, too, wouldn't have to deal with the pressures of going to college.
Apparently, parents are less strict about their children's whereabouts on prom night and let their teens spend the night in a hotel or at mixed-gender sleepovers.
I thought this sad trend might be local to our area, but during a class reunion in California, I learned the trend may be nationwide. One of my oldest friends, "Dana," confided during the reunion that she had become a grandmother at 43 due to her daughter having a prom baby.
As prom night approaches, please warn parents to talk with their children about the responsibilities of premarital sex and the dangers of a prom baby.
What The Fuck.
Dear What The Fuck:
Let's deal with the obvious first. You talked to people in your neck of the woods, which turns out to be a suburb of Atlanta, and you talked to people in California. Hardly representative of the entire population. Surely, being from the deep south, you've learned that most of the population of California are lunatics. Why do you listen to their bullshit and accept it at face value? Nationwide trend, my ass. This sounds like a bunch of stupid scare tactics trying to use a few random occurences found in the terminally stupid as an indicator of a 'nationwide trend' in order to garner interest amongst people who wouldn't bother giving this column a second glance while looking for pizza coupons. How about some hard evidence before you blab this bullshit? And you're a dad? You need a boot up your ass for being a gossip, cause that's what this shit sounds like. Men do not gossip. Men do things that generate gossip. You sound like the old hens down at the beauty parlor tut-tutting about some shit one of the other hens 'heard'. Seriously. I question whether you're really a male or actually some chick ghost-writing bullshit to fill a column on a slow news day.
Why would these kids talk about this shit in front of you? You're male. You're more likely to bust the kid's ass over stupid shit than some chick would. Why would these kids reveal deep secrets around an authority figure? Either you're making this shit up, or you and your fellow citizens are breeding a generation of genuine morons. In either case, you should be quite proud, as the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree.
Look at it this way. Women are opportunists. These women are young and nubile. Why would they want to get knocked up by some zit-faced teenaged boy or some knuckle-headed jock when they can go get knocked up by some rich old fart and make out better than they would had some teenage kid done it?
Pressure of college? Pressure? The mere thought of this is laughable. You can show up stinking drunk every day of class in a modern college and still earn a 2.5 GPA. There's no pressure in undergrad, unless you're an engineer, which your moronic brats most certainly will not be.
Now that we got that stupidity out of the way, let's assume you aren't completely full of shit, and that there are hordes of women out there looking to get knocked up on prom night so they can avoid the 'pressure' of college.
The solution is quite simple. You get in your daughter's face and tell her that she can do what she wants with her uterus. She's 18, (or is she 20? 25? Hard to tell from the overflowing stupidity contained in your article, sounds like the valedictorian at your school had a driver's license in kindergarten) and therefore is an adult. An adult has the distinct ability to do what they please. And for this, they get to pay the consequences for their foolishness. Your daughter wants to whore out and have a baby at 18, that's fine. You must inform her that she will take care of the kid, not you or her mother. You will not be a babysitter. You will not bankroll this kid. You will not be there to bail her ass out when she can't handle the pressure of being a mother. You must make this abundantly clear. If she doesn't have shit for brains, she will figure out that, with no safety net, this course of action is NOT A GOOD FUCKING IDEA.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Pure of heart but not of body?
Dear Abby Voodoo:
I am a 28-year-old woman and have been dating a 26-year-old man I'll call "Chris" for four months. We have become good friends. On our last date, the topic of sex came up, and Chris told me that he was a virgin and that it was very important for him to find a girl who had "never been with anyone" either.
Well, Abby, that bridge was burned when I was a teenager. I was honest with Chris about it, which was not easy because I now regret some of the poor choices I made at that time of my life. I am a completely different person now due to a religious conversion and am waiting until I am married to have sex again.
I told Chris this, and asked if he wanted to continue the relationship. His answer was he'd "have to think about it." We are still friends. He says he likes me and still wants us to date.
However, although I care deeply for him, I now feel devalued. I'm afraid this issue is going to cause problems in the future. I believe that purity is an issue more of the heart than the body. If I had known that virginity was so important to Chris, I would never have dated him in the first place.
Pennsylvania Whore
Dear PW:
Thanks for the laugh. It's statements like "I believe that purity is an issue more of the heart than the body.", statements which I lack the comedic genius to come up with, that are so worthy of ridicule that one cannot help but bust a gut at the sheer stupidity contained within.
Purity is an issue of the heart and soul, dipshit. You can't be pure in one area and impure in another. You should feel devalued because YOU HAVE DEVALUED YOURSELF by acting the whore. You all but acknowledge this when you claim to have sworn off sex until marriage. Obviously, you consider this to be an incorrect path upon which to walk through life and have cut it out. If you didn't, you'd still be out there fucking bikers, thugs, and any asshole out there with a good line of bullshit, false confidence, and a crisp 50 dollar bill.
Just reading this bullshit lends me to think that you're actually looking for someone to tell you what a big fat asshole Chris is because he doesn't want some washed-up skank for a wife. Chris isn't the unreasonable asshole here, YOU ARE. Chris has something called "Moral Fiber", something that's lacking in today's society. Chris is a man who knows what he wants, what's important to him, and wants someone who shares his moral code with him. If Chris is a drinking man, I'd have the bartender send him one over for sticking to his principles and not compromising them for anyone. And if he's smart enough to drop your washed-up ass, he'd drink on my tab for the rest of the night.
You, on the other hand, are the asshole. You want this guy to change his thinking for you. You acted the fool early in your life and now that you meet someone who, under the old ways, might have been a great match for you had you kept your panties on, you want him to accept you as you are and ignore your past. Perhaps you should have thought of the consequences of your actions before you decided to go be 'pure of heart' without being 'pure of body'. It's called the WAGES OF SIN, and the tab just landed on your table. PAY UP.
TOUGH SHIT!
I am a 28-year-old woman and have been dating a 26-year-old man I'll call "Chris" for four months. We have become good friends. On our last date, the topic of sex came up, and Chris told me that he was a virgin and that it was very important for him to find a girl who had "never been with anyone" either.
Well, Abby, that bridge was burned when I was a teenager. I was honest with Chris about it, which was not easy because I now regret some of the poor choices I made at that time of my life. I am a completely different person now due to a religious conversion and am waiting until I am married to have sex again.
I told Chris this, and asked if he wanted to continue the relationship. His answer was he'd "have to think about it." We are still friends. He says he likes me and still wants us to date.
However, although I care deeply for him, I now feel devalued. I'm afraid this issue is going to cause problems in the future. I believe that purity is an issue more of the heart than the body. If I had known that virginity was so important to Chris, I would never have dated him in the first place.
Pennsylvania Whore
Dear PW:
Thanks for the laugh. It's statements like "I believe that purity is an issue more of the heart than the body.", statements which I lack the comedic genius to come up with, that are so worthy of ridicule that one cannot help but bust a gut at the sheer stupidity contained within.
Purity is an issue of the heart and soul, dipshit. You can't be pure in one area and impure in another. You should feel devalued because YOU HAVE DEVALUED YOURSELF by acting the whore. You all but acknowledge this when you claim to have sworn off sex until marriage. Obviously, you consider this to be an incorrect path upon which to walk through life and have cut it out. If you didn't, you'd still be out there fucking bikers, thugs, and any asshole out there with a good line of bullshit, false confidence, and a crisp 50 dollar bill.
Just reading this bullshit lends me to think that you're actually looking for someone to tell you what a big fat asshole Chris is because he doesn't want some washed-up skank for a wife. Chris isn't the unreasonable asshole here, YOU ARE. Chris has something called "Moral Fiber", something that's lacking in today's society. Chris is a man who knows what he wants, what's important to him, and wants someone who shares his moral code with him. If Chris is a drinking man, I'd have the bartender send him one over for sticking to his principles and not compromising them for anyone. And if he's smart enough to drop your washed-up ass, he'd drink on my tab for the rest of the night.
You, on the other hand, are the asshole. You want this guy to change his thinking for you. You acted the fool early in your life and now that you meet someone who, under the old ways, might have been a great match for you had you kept your panties on, you want him to accept you as you are and ignore your past. Perhaps you should have thought of the consequences of your actions before you decided to go be 'pure of heart' without being 'pure of body'. It's called the WAGES OF SIN, and the tab just landed on your table. PAY UP.
TOUGH SHIT!
I'd like to buy a clue, Pat
Dear Carolyn Voodoo:
I recently left a comfortable marriage after 27 years because I didn't love my husband. We lived a passionless, flatlined life, and I could go on, but it's not the point (or is it?). We were separated for 14 months and are now divorced. I started dating someone, and now I live with him. I have not brought him to family events because I was being sensitive to everyone's feelings, but now I feel it's about time to move on with my life.
My family cannot accept this. They do not invite my boyfriend to anything but still invite my ex-husband. We have two grown children and they take their father's side to the point I am left out. If I want to attend dinners at my children's houses I need to leave my boyfriend home. So here I sit wanting to know what went wrong and where to go from here.
Signed,
Can I buy a clue, Pat?
Dear Clueless:
You are a fucking moron. No bullshit. I have things rotting in my fridge that have more capacity for causal thought than you. You can't figure out where you went wrong, and can't figure out why your family and your kids won't accept this new boyfriend? And you have the gall to claim you're actually "sensitive to everyone's feelings"?
Here's a hint:
IT'S BECAUSE YOU FUCKED OVER YOUR EX-HUSBAND!
I find it astounding that you, and self-centered cunts like you, who spend so much time focused on themselves have the inherent inability to figure out why people take umbrage at their actions. Here was a guy who, for 27 years, put all his hopes, dreams, desires, and hobbies on the back burner to put chow on your table, "your" (because the father is never included in 'ownership' of children) kids through the first 20-odd years of their life comfortably, and accorded you a lifestyle that you yourself acknowledged as "comfortable". For all his hard work and effort in being a good father and husband, you bolt because there isn't enough "passion" in your life?
Well fuck you too!
Had the genders been reversed, you and all your pathetic like-minded harpy friends would have claimed this guy was the biggest asshole in the world for running off with some sweet young thing who, GOD FORBID, actually liked to fuck. Yet, when you essentially do the same thing, you can't figure out why people think you're the
asshole?
You ain't sensitive to SHIT. If you were, you would have sucked it up and tried to put passion into your marriage and stuck it out like you promised to do on the altar. Remember "Till Death Do Us Part"? Guess you think that rule, like the one regarding your relatives events and houses, do not apply to you and are subject to modification at your discretion.
Here's a newsflash for you. When invited to your relatives' respective houses, THEY MAKE THE RULES. If they don't want your latest 'passion-filled fuck' in their house, this is their prerogative. Accept the fact that they're at least inviting you, which is a lot more than I would do if you were related to me. I'd tell you exactly what you need to hear: "You're a worthless bag of shit that needs to be tossed down the nearest accessible septic tank."
I recently left a comfortable marriage after 27 years because I didn't love my husband. We lived a passionless, flatlined life, and I could go on, but it's not the point (or is it?). We were separated for 14 months and are now divorced. I started dating someone, and now I live with him. I have not brought him to family events because I was being sensitive to everyone's feelings, but now I feel it's about time to move on with my life.
My family cannot accept this. They do not invite my boyfriend to anything but still invite my ex-husband. We have two grown children and they take their father's side to the point I am left out. If I want to attend dinners at my children's houses I need to leave my boyfriend home. So here I sit wanting to know what went wrong and where to go from here.
Signed,
Can I buy a clue, Pat?
Dear Clueless:
You are a fucking moron. No bullshit. I have things rotting in my fridge that have more capacity for causal thought than you. You can't figure out where you went wrong, and can't figure out why your family and your kids won't accept this new boyfriend? And you have the gall to claim you're actually "sensitive to everyone's feelings"?
Here's a hint:
IT'S BECAUSE YOU FUCKED OVER YOUR EX-HUSBAND!
I find it astounding that you, and self-centered cunts like you, who spend so much time focused on themselves have the inherent inability to figure out why people take umbrage at their actions. Here was a guy who, for 27 years, put all his hopes, dreams, desires, and hobbies on the back burner to put chow on your table, "your" (because the father is never included in 'ownership' of children) kids through the first 20-odd years of their life comfortably, and accorded you a lifestyle that you yourself acknowledged as "comfortable". For all his hard work and effort in being a good father and husband, you bolt because there isn't enough "passion" in your life?
Well fuck you too!
Had the genders been reversed, you and all your pathetic like-minded harpy friends would have claimed this guy was the biggest asshole in the world for running off with some sweet young thing who, GOD FORBID, actually liked to fuck. Yet, when you essentially do the same thing, you can't figure out why people think you're the
asshole?
You ain't sensitive to SHIT. If you were, you would have sucked it up and tried to put passion into your marriage and stuck it out like you promised to do on the altar. Remember "Till Death Do Us Part"? Guess you think that rule, like the one regarding your relatives events and houses, do not apply to you and are subject to modification at your discretion.
Here's a newsflash for you. When invited to your relatives' respective houses, THEY MAKE THE RULES. If they don't want your latest 'passion-filled fuck' in their house, this is their prerogative. Accept the fact that they're at least inviting you, which is a lot more than I would do if you were related to me. I'd tell you exactly what you need to hear: "You're a worthless bag of shit that needs to be tossed down the nearest accessible septic tank."
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Purebred Shitbirds
Dear Annie Voodoo:
I am a single mother of two girls, ages 4 and 2. Their father isn't in the picture much. I love my kids, but sometimes I think I never should have had children.
A while ago I put my 4 year old into group counseling because she was very aggressive with her little sister and argued with me about everything - what to wear, when to go to bed, etc. She hasn't improved much, and it's making me crazy. Rewards and discipline don't work.
I am on an anti-depressant and take a sleeping pill. My children sleep in bed with me every night, just so I don't have to battle with them, which means I have to go to bed when they do, leaving me no time for myself. They wear me down until I cry myself to sleep.
The sleeping arrangements are also causing problems with my boyfriend. Please help. I don't know what to do.
Signed,
Candyass.
Dear Candyass:
Who wears the pants in your family, you or these brats? If you have to think more than 3 seconds about the correct answer, you should wash all those sleeping pills down with a fifth of Jose Cuervo.
You're a fucking adult, first for possessing the inability to realize that single motherhood is NOT a viable lifestyle choice. Things like that are NOT to be done. There's a reason why men are required in the family, and that reason is illustrated in your letter: to police the family and prevent shitbird from infecting one's progeny.
All you hairy-legged dykes with dog-collars who are pissed off at me right now, FUCK YOU TOO.
Back to the original problem:
It's obvious we cannot stuff these kids back up your uterus where they never should have exited in the first place. That horse done run out the barn. Thus, we have to work on fixing the problem from here forward. First, these kids are 4 and 2, they have no business sleeping in your bed. They have even less business sleeping in your bed when your boyfriend sleeps over. Your boyfriend has no business sleeping over either. Don't you fucking remember how you got into this mess in the first place?
Next, YOU make the rules. YOU must enforce them. Kids need to know rules will be enforced and transgressions will result in punishment. If they do not, they grow up thinking the rules don't apply to them and turn into your average bar-skank. Your 4 year old brat can argue all she wants. You hold your ground and don't give in. You give in, she learns she can wear you down by being a brat. You outlast her, she'll figure out a different method to get what she wants.
Your 4 year old brat wants to beat up her sister, you give her a nice hard wallop on the ass. All you bleeding-heart assholes who think that you should treat kids like an adult: FUCK YOU TOO, for you are full of shit if you think treating someone who is clearly not an adult like an adult works. She learns walloping sis ends up to be a (literal) pain in the ass, she will quit. If junior shitbird #2 learns lying about sis beating her up works, you wallop her on the ass too.
You are an undisciplined twit. I genuinely share your wish that you never had children. These 2 brats are going to be problems guys like me will have to straighten out after it's far too late. Quit trying to be your kids' pal and start laying the fucking law down already.
I am a single mother of two girls, ages 4 and 2. Their father isn't in the picture much. I love my kids, but sometimes I think I never should have had children.
A while ago I put my 4 year old into group counseling because she was very aggressive with her little sister and argued with me about everything - what to wear, when to go to bed, etc. She hasn't improved much, and it's making me crazy. Rewards and discipline don't work.
I am on an anti-depressant and take a sleeping pill. My children sleep in bed with me every night, just so I don't have to battle with them, which means I have to go to bed when they do, leaving me no time for myself. They wear me down until I cry myself to sleep.
The sleeping arrangements are also causing problems with my boyfriend. Please help. I don't know what to do.
Signed,
Candyass.
Dear Candyass:
Who wears the pants in your family, you or these brats? If you have to think more than 3 seconds about the correct answer, you should wash all those sleeping pills down with a fifth of Jose Cuervo.
You're a fucking adult, first for possessing the inability to realize that single motherhood is NOT a viable lifestyle choice. Things like that are NOT to be done. There's a reason why men are required in the family, and that reason is illustrated in your letter: to police the family and prevent shitbird from infecting one's progeny.
All you hairy-legged dykes with dog-collars who are pissed off at me right now, FUCK YOU TOO.
Back to the original problem:
It's obvious we cannot stuff these kids back up your uterus where they never should have exited in the first place. That horse done run out the barn. Thus, we have to work on fixing the problem from here forward. First, these kids are 4 and 2, they have no business sleeping in your bed. They have even less business sleeping in your bed when your boyfriend sleeps over. Your boyfriend has no business sleeping over either. Don't you fucking remember how you got into this mess in the first place?
Next, YOU make the rules. YOU must enforce them. Kids need to know rules will be enforced and transgressions will result in punishment. If they do not, they grow up thinking the rules don't apply to them and turn into your average bar-skank. Your 4 year old brat can argue all she wants. You hold your ground and don't give in. You give in, she learns she can wear you down by being a brat. You outlast her, she'll figure out a different method to get what she wants.
Your 4 year old brat wants to beat up her sister, you give her a nice hard wallop on the ass. All you bleeding-heart assholes who think that you should treat kids like an adult: FUCK YOU TOO, for you are full of shit if you think treating someone who is clearly not an adult like an adult works. She learns walloping sis ends up to be a (literal) pain in the ass, she will quit. If junior shitbird #2 learns lying about sis beating her up works, you wallop her on the ass too.
You are an undisciplined twit. I genuinely share your wish that you never had children. These 2 brats are going to be problems guys like me will have to straighten out after it's far too late. Quit trying to be your kids' pal and start laying the fucking law down already.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
