My husband and I have been married for 25 years and have two sons. "Dan" is a wonderful husband and father.
Dan has a friend who calls him constantly -- several calls a day, most days of the week. "Chuck" always has a reason to call. "Where is milk on sale?" "Where is a good place to golf?" "What are you doing today?" He even calls during our vacations.
Dan knows how upset I am with his annoying and pesky friend. We have small children who require our attention. CHuck is married and his wife is always working or involved with other activities. They don't have children.
Dan tries to ignore the calls, but Chuck keeps at it, either on our home phone or Dan's cell phone, until my husband responds or calls him back. Dan knows how much chuck irritates me -- we've even had arguments about it-- so now he waits for me to leave before he returns the calls.
I have asked Dan to tell chuck that the overwhelming calls annoy me and he must limit them. But Dan is afraid of hurting Chuck's feelings and refuses to talk to him about it. Dan says our life is strong and no one can come between us, and I need to let it go. Is he right?
Dear Nagging Harpy:
I have no idea how a man stayed married to you for so long. I bet Dan was a good guy who was a good provider, and over the course of time you nagged him into catering to your every whim, no matter how fucked up that it may be.
Chuck is Dan's friend. Not yours. Would you do the same if Dan thought your pal Sarah was every bit as annoying as you think Chuck is? I think not. You'd stamp and moan to all your equally vacuous girlfriends about how mean Dan is that he won't let you hang out with Sarah.
Fuck you and your nagging harpy ways.
Dan waits until you leave before calling Chuck back. He's compromised to the extent he's willing to compromise. Chuck's friendship is important to Dan. And I bet Dan's friendship with Chuck is based on a mutual gripe: wives who don't give a rats ass about their husbands.
You need a big steaming cup of shut the fuck up. Get a fucking hobby. Get over yourself. Quit being a nagging shrew.